Injury Recovery

At age 27 I had just begun working toward my doctorate, although I was planning to pause my studies to audition for young artist programs or to study abroad. But one day I got into my car to drive home after classes and all my plans changed.

I was hit by someone trying to merge from where he was illegally parked. I felt a twist in my spine at impact, a pop in my lower back, and a twist in my wrist as I jerked the steering wheel quickly in order to avoid the oncoming traffic. Surprisingly, I didn’t have any pain afterward and I didn’t require any immediate medical attention.

The next day was a different story. Getting out of bed was difficult, and I had trouble using my right hand. My injuries necessitated about a year of physical therapy for my neck, back, and hand.

It was a full nine months before I was able to get back onstage to perform, and I can vividly remember the audition I played and the doctoral candidate who was auditioning.

I was terrified. My performance anxiety was through the roof. For me, it stemmed from these factors:

• My hand still didn’t feel quite right and wouldn’t always do what I asked of it, so I wasn’t sure if certain passages would work. I was unaware that I needed a different type of therapy which I had not yet received, so the muscles of my hand were still very weak.

• That led me to wonder if I’d ever be able to play as well as I could before the accident.

• I was worried that my teachers would think I couldn’t make it through the DMA program. Now that young artist programs and studying abroad had been ruled out, I didn’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t finish school.

What I didn’t realize then was that the rebuilding of my technique and the struggles I faced in physical therapy were actually going to improve my piano playing and prepare me to help pianists who had pain or technical struggles. 

In the early days of returning to playing, the pain that shot up my thumb-side tendon was like an alarm bell telling me I was being careless. It hurt when I reached with fingers instead of using my arm, so it forced me to cultivate more awareness of how I was moving.

Studying Alexander Technique has helped me heighten that awareness much more, and it would have been helpful while I was recovering from my car accident for several reasons. 

First, I would have gained more insight into what I was doing that caused the pain along the tendon. Even though I didn’t have pain before the accident, it became clear that I had some bad habits that I could no longer get away with while I was recovering.

Secondly, a whole body approach would have facilitated a more comprehensive recovery. For example, sometimes it was difficult to complete exercises for my back because of my neck pain. If I had been working with an Alexander Technique teacher, I would have learned how to perform those exercises with less effort and strain on the body.

Lastly, when we’re thinking about our “use” (the way we’re moving), it calms our overthinking mind, so it would have helped my performance anxiety. It’s really hard to be mindful of how we’re moving and let our mind race at the same time!

Sometimes the perspective we gain from an injury can be helpful. I was thrilled to be able to play at all, and very grateful that there wasn’t a car barreling my way, so that also began to ease my anxiety onstage.

If you’ve had an injury, the road to recovery can be long and difficult, and healing is different for everyone. But the common thread for those of us who have been injured is that getting back onstage is challenging.

I’m really happy to say that performing is enjoyable for me now. I like sharing great music with an appreciative audience, and I even enjoy taking the microphone and talking to them about what they’ll hear. That's something I NEVER thought I’d feel comfortable doing!

It’s possible to get there, despite the challenges we’ve faced along the way. There are many strategies to cope with performance anxiety, but Alexander Technique is certainly a great tool to use. This free pdf guide will help you get started using Alexander Technique ideas right away in your piano teaching. 

What challenges have you overcome that became your greatest strengths? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!